Ten Ways Women Sabotage Their Communication in the Workplace

By Diane DiResta, President of DiResta Communications

Are women co-creators in their own sabotage? No one will deny that the glass ceiling exists. But women often help to keep success at arms length by the way they communicate. Here are a few of the most common credibility killers:

1. Too much head nodding

When women nod, they mean "I hear you," "I understand." Men interpret head nodding as agreement with their ideas. Too much head nodding will be perceived as weakness and may result in miscommunication.

2. Uptalk

A rising inflection at the end of a sentence sounds tentative, as if posing a question. This is a real credibility killer. Women will not be taken seriously with this vocal pattern. Practice bringing the voice down at the end of a sentence to sound more authoritative.

3. Weak Language

Tag lines - Some communicators make a statement and then ask for validation. "This is a good idea, don't you think?   "We have the best team, right?"  Tag lines weaken conviction and authority. Eliminate them.

Modifiers - Words such as some, just, only, hopefully, and guess, minimize the message and the messenger. "This is just a thought." "I'm only a beginner," "Hopefully, I've done a good job," "I guess I have a question," are weak statements. They signal a lack of confidence and tell the listener that it is not very important. Constant apologizing is not appropriate and will have the same effect. Weed out wimpy words and replace them with powerful language.

4. Allowing interruptions

Men jump in and say what they think. They tend to interrupt more than women. Women are more likely to allow themselves to be cut off and lose credit for their ideas. Instead, they can say, "I'm not finished," " Please hold your questions," "These interruptions break everyone's train of thought" or continue talking and finish your point.

5. Not speaking up (Waiting to be called on)

In our business culture, people who don't speak up are perceived as not knowing anything. Commit to making one contribution at every meeting. Some women wait to be
called on or have difficulty taking the floor. It may be necessary to interrupt to have your say. Do it. You must be heard to be a counted.

6. Dressing too sexy

A visual impression take seven seconds or less. Clothing and appearance are a form of communication. Women who wear spiked heels, low cut blouses, heavy make-up, and micro-mini skirts are communicating sexual availability rather than career mobility. To succeed in the workplace, women must dress the part. You don't have to sacrifice femininity, but don't appear too flashy. To achieve advancement, dress one level above your present position. If you are a supervisor, dress  like a manager.

7. Too soft spoken

A soft voice indicates insecurity or lack of confidence.
Breathe from the diaphragm and project the voice so that every person at the meeting can hear. If they have to strain to listen, they will tune you out. A speaker loses conviction when ideas are presented in a soft voice.

8. Allowing others to take credit for ideas

A common complaint of women is that men take credit for their ideas. When this happens women must learn to speak up and claim their contributions. "Excuse me, I just said that a minute ago." "How is that different from what I just proposed?" Do not sit quietly while someone intercepts your brainstorm.

9.Weak body posture

Cute gestures such as shrugging shoulders, not making direct eye contact, standing with one leg crossed in front, and a weak handshake will weaken one's visual impact. Men naturally take up more space. Hold your ground. Stand tall and sit up straight. Act like you belong. You have a right to be there.

10. Avoiding public speaking

This is one of the biggest mistakes women can make in their careers. Men don't have a glass ceiling. Public speaking is an opportunity for visibility. Confront your fear, get some coaching, and get out there and shine!

Learn more about Diane DiResta and DiResta Communications in our Contributors area.